Football and Me

As is known， football as a sport is getting more and more popular， and it is loved by people around the world， tall and short， fat and thin， old and young.

　　If you ask me what I think of football， I can tell you： I love nothing more than football.

　　To tell you the truth， I have been a football fan for more than five years though I am only 15 years old. I did not understand why so many football fans were madly [mad] （1） about football until I became a football fan [one of them myself] （2） .

　　Recently I watched World Cup （世界杯）。 Many football stars displayed their skills to the full. I admired for [admired] （3） their wonderful skills. It is obvious that it's [it was] （4） a high level World Cup. In the end， Brazil team got the gold medal， which I think it deserved （应得到）。

　　In this World Cup， the best football star， in my opinion，was Christman although the winner was not the Germany team. That's why I have given myself an English name——Aaron Christman.

　　I not only watch football matches but also play football. I often spend my spare time playing football with other. I hear of [hear] （5） that a football tournament（锦标赛） will be held in my school pretty soon. If so， I will take an active part in it so that our class team will get the championship.

　　Oh， football， I'll love you for ever.

　　上海市崇明县三烈中学高一（1）班 沈庆丰

　　评 语

　　有人叹息道：中国足球真像一场难圆的梦。但令人欣慰的是，现在已有越来越多的人（包括众多的中学生）开始关心、热爱足球。本文表现的就是这样一个中学生球迷的心声。从语言角度讲，文章写得较为流畅，短语、从句使用也较贴切。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）这里应该用形容词mad.

　　（2）改后避免重复，加上myself使表达更为有力。

　　（3）这里admire应该是及物动词。

　　（4）原文时态用错了。

　　（5）hear of后接名词，如：Have you ever heard of such a thing？但后接that从句时，无需用介词of.