Mother,Let Me Help You

The factory in which my mother used to work was shut down one year ago. A lot of workers had to leave their work， including my mother. Several months had passed but most of the unemployed workers still didn't get jobs again[get new jobs] （1）although the local government tried its best. So Mother decided to find a job by herself. After making a great effort， she got a job as a cleaner[street cleaner] （2）， in charge of a street [responsible for keeping clean a part of street] （3）about 200 metres long. Although the pay was low， the work conditions were bad， Mother said she was glad to do this work. But I thought people would look down upon us.

　　Today I am free at home. In the morning， Mother asked me if I could help her with the cleaning work in the street. At first I wanted to say：“I'm afraid I can't for[because]（4）I have some homework to do today，”as I was afraid of being recognized（认出）by my classmates， but when I saw the white hairs on Mother's head， I said instead，“Oh， yes， I'll go with you， Mum.”After breakfast， we went to the street. I pushed a cart （手推车）for collecting rubbish， holding my head down and not daring to see the people walking in the street. I always felt that someone was looking at me， laughing at me…

　　“Hello， Li Jing.”Oh， dear. It was Mr Chen， who taught us Chinese.“Mr Chen， I， I…”I didn't know what to say. My face turned red.“Oh， don't be so shy. You are [a]（5）hard-working boy. The cleaners [street cleaners]（6） are important and honorable. We should thank you and your mother. The other[Your]（7）classmates should learn from you. Good boy， don't look down upon yourself， hold your head high. Bye！”

　　Then I realized that I was honorable as a son of a street cleaner. I should held my head high. After finishing the hard work and then looking at the tidy（干净的）street， I felt that Mother and I were the most honorable people in the world. Mother， I'll help you whenever I am free.

　　安徽省阜阳市颖东区城郊中学高二（2）班 李靖

　　评 语

　　随着我国经济结构改革的不断深入，“下岗”，“再上岗”对学生来说已不是陌生的词。如何对待自己父母亲的下岗与再上岗，如何看待不同的职业，是广大学生应该正确回答的问题。李靖同学的这篇文章抓住这一社会热点，先交代母亲如何下岗，后又如何主动当了“扫街工”，然后用生动的笔触详细记叙了自己从“怕别人认出在帮母亲扫街”到“自豪地昂起头准备以后再来这样做”的转变过程，其中对内心活动的描述较为出色。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）原句again与still呼应似乎不如用new job来得好。

　　（2）、（6）光说cleaner一般表示打扫办公室、建筑物等处的清洁工。马路清洁工用street cleaner为好。顺便说一下，dustman一般不指扫马路的清洁工，而是挨家挨户收集垃圾的。

　　（3）原句in change of用得不妥。

　　（4）for表示原因，没有因果关系，只是补充说明理由。这里因果语气较强，改用because为好。

　　（5）原文漏了不定冠词。

　　（7）原文是相对“我”而言，再用the other classmates，读起来好像“我”也是一个classmate了，故改之。