A White Lie
This is a true story which happened when I was eight years old.
One day in the afternoon, my mother and I went to take a bath. After we finished bathing, it was almost 6 o'clock in the evening. Of course I felt very hungry. My mother must be hungry too, I thought.
Luckily, she brought a small cake in her bag. But how could such a small one [cake] (1) satisfy two hungry persons? My mother loves me very much. She gave me the whole cake, but nothing to herself. If I ate all the cake, what could my mother have? I also know [knew] (2) that my mother would not accept it if I only said:“Mum, you are hungry, too. The cake for you.”
“Why not try another way?”I thought for a while. Then I pretended that I did not like the cake at all.“Mum, the cake tastes terrible,”I said.“Really?”Mother was very surprised. “It smells good. Well, I'll have it.”
“The cake's delicious,”she said to herself while she was having it. I really could not help laughing. Mother was more surprised.“What is the matter, dear?”“I've just told you a white lie.”“A white lie? Oh, I understand now. You've just played a trick on me!”
We both laughed happily.
Sometimes a white lie is very helpful, isn't it?
江苏省无锡市大桥民办实验中学初二(4)班 陈熠玲
评 语
文章简洁明快,采用了大量的直接引语以及直接引语式的思考内容,使文章读来更为生动。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:
(1)这里指代cake的代词one用得不够有力,不如重复一下cake.
(2)根据上下文,这里用过去时为好。
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