A Letter to an Australian Teacher

Dec. 20

　　Dear Miss Rosalba Demarte，

　　I have got your address from Shanghai Students' Post. I'm very glad to learn [to have learned]（1）that you are interested in English teaching in the city of Yizhou.

　　My name is Zhou Shiwen. I am eighteen years old. Collecting stamps is my hobby. I like swimming and listening to music， too. I am a student of Senior Three. Now I am busy preparing for the coming college entrance examination in July.

　　Among all the subjects I like English best. We have seven English classes every week. Mr Yao， our English teacher， is an ordinary-looking man in his forties. Although he has never studied at a college， he is very good at teaching. He is kind to us， but he is strict with us in our studies at the same time.

　　I often write letters to my sister in English. She can't find out the mistakes that I have made in the letters because she still studies in a junior middle school. So I am very eager to make penfriends with someone who masters English. On July 16， 1995， two teachers from USA came to our county and gave us a lecture. I was very nervous when I talked with them because it was the first time I met [had ever met] （2） and talked with foreign guests. They encouraged me and said ，“Here we are all good friends. You needn't be nervous.” We talked for about half an hour about our studies， the local weather and about their homeland——America——in simple English. How I wish I could have more such chances to talk with native speakers in English or to write to them in English！ Now I have got to know of you. How I want to make friends with you！ I think that writing letters in English can improve my English. I want to ask you how to learn English well. I think I can make progress in English with your help.

　　I live in a small town named Longan of Luocheng County. Longan is 40 kilometres away from the big county town. It is only an hour's ride from Luocheng to the city of Yizhou.

　　I am very sorry to know that you usedn't to eat the lark [you are not used to having lard ] （3）。 How I wish to send some rapeseed oil（菜油） to you！ But I am afraid that I haven't time to do that right now because we also have lessons on Sunday. I want to know if you go home for the Spring Festival. I want to visit you and bring some rapeseed oil to you very much（4）in my winter holidays.

　　I am looking forward to getting your reply.

　　With the best wishes！

　　Sincerely yours，

　　Zhou Shiwen

　　广西罗城高中文科补习班 周诗文

　　评 语

　　周诗文同学怀着学好英语的强烈愿望，大胆地与素不相识的澳大利亚女教师通信联系，实现了自己求教于外籍老师的心愿，也使自己的信实现了预定的交际功能。这封信用词贴切，既热情又注意一定的分寸，特别是结尾处，了解到外籍教师不习惯吃荤油，主动提出送菜油给她，显示了对他人的关心。某些语言上的不足修改点评如下：

　　（1）因获悉某消息而高兴，不定式要用完成时，试比较：

　　I am sorry to say that you are wrong.（先抱歉，再表示你是不对的。）

　　I am sorry to have said that.（对已说过的话表示抱歉。）

　　（2）这里应该用过去完成式，加上ever语气更通顺。

　　（3）作者想表示“you过去是不吃猪油的”。不如直说现在不习惯，读起来让人更清楚。另外，“猪油”应为lard，原文拼写错了。

　　（4）very much是修饰want的，放在这里容易引起歧义，应放在want前为好。