My Dear Teacher

When I was six years old， I went to school and became a pupil.

　　My first teacher was Mrs Zheng. She was an old teacher. Her eyes were kind and bright. She treated us as her children and loved us heart and soul.

　　One day in the afternoon， we were having our handwriting lesson. I was so careless that I got the ink bottle broken and ink ran out of it. I was anxious and frightened. Tears came to my eyes. Just at that time， in came my dear teacher——Mrs Zheng， with a sweet smile on her kind face.“Don't worry about it. You are a pupil now. You must face the difficulty in life bravery [bravely]（1）。”Then she helped me to clean the ground.

　　This happened when I was in Grade One. I will remember her words for ever.

　　Two years later， my family moved away. I had to leave my dear teacher to[for]（2）another school. Mrs Zheng gave me a notebook with the words“Study hard for ever！”on the cover. She accompanied（陪伴）me to another[the new]（3）school in person with tears full of her eyes[her eyes full of tears]（4）。 Many times， I dreamed about my dear teacher's tears， and my tears would run down to the pillow. Many times， I dreamed about my dear teacher's smile， and I would then smile in the dream.

　　Time flies. Then eight years after I left her， at[on]（5） a beautiful night， my former classmates and I went to visit her. To our surprise， she still remembered our names exactly. When she said，“You are Manly， aren't you？”teary came to my eyes.

　　Who taught me the first lesson in my life？ Who taught me to face the difficulty in life bravery[bravely]（6）？ Who taught me to work hard for ever？ It is you！ My dear teacher！

　　广东省揭阳市榕城第一中学94（6）班 洪曼丽

　　评 语

　　学生对老师的感恩之情是永远也书写不完的。文章从“闯祸后的安慰”、“临别时的送行”到“几年后重见时依然记得每个学生的名字”这些细节入手，勾画出了一个和蔼可亲的教师形象。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）、（6）可能是bravely的笔误，可见作文完成后，必须认真检查语法、拼写等，否则就会出现不必要的错误。

　　（2）leave某地去另一个新地方，该新地方用介词for引出，如：He left Shanghai for Beijing.

　　（3）上面已经提到过那个学校，再用another不妥，故改之。

　　（4）原文with短语是伴随情况状语，相当于一个状语从句，但tears和eyes的位置错了，因为我们只能说when her eyes were full of tears，向不能说when tears were full of her eyes.

　　（5）某一天晚上前介词用on，而at night只是一个固定搭配。