Cultural Difference
Last summer two foreigners came to my grandmother's home. They are [were] (1) Mr. and Mrs. Reoge. They were from America. The place where my grandparents are now living in [living] (2) was the very house they used to spend their childhoods [in] (3)。 Their coming [arrival] (4) was a big surprise to me. I talked with them in that I can [so that I could] (5) practise my spoken English. Suddenly, Mr. Reoge said to me:“Your English is very good!” Mr. Reoge, a real native speaker, praised my English! I couldn't help smiling, but I heard myself said [saying ] (6) , “No, no!” Almost immediately I realized what kind of a mistake I had made. It's the difference between western and eastern cultures. [In the west you are not supposed to say “no” , while nodding your head with a smile. ](7)
I still remember clearly how in a strange way Mr. Reoge looked at me while I was smiling with happiness, but saying, “no”。 He was confused!
Though I've learnt a lot of cultural differences between Eastand West from books, it is the first time that I am strongly impressed by it[have ever been deeply impressed by them in real life]. (8)
复旦大学附中高三(5)王蕾
评 语
作者能在这么短的篇幅内表达一个较深刻的主题是很不容易的。全文用词和文章构架也较为老练,并能较好地运用对话展开叙述。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:
(1)时态用错了。
(2)、(3) Where从句中 living in后面的介词 in应该去掉。因为从句的连接词where是连接副词,在从句中作状语。而“they used to spend their childhoods”这句话后面要加上介词in.因为这句话在这里作 houses 的后置定语,省掉了连接代词which 或that,请比较下列两句话:
This is the house (which)I lived in two years ago.
This is the house where (=in which) I lived two years ago.
(4)用 arrival 较好。
(5)这里连接词和时态都用错了。
(6)这里要用现在分词。
(7)作者似乎没能把意思表达彻底,故加上方括号内这句话,使意思更明了。
(8)It is the first time that从句中,一般要用现在完成时。
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