On Confidence

As we all know. “Failure is the mother of success. ” But，I just want to say： “Success is particularly （1） the baby of confidence. ”

　　First of all， confidence makes us happier in our life. Life is like a wonderful song， a bright and colourful painting. If confidence is with us in our life， we will find that life really becomes richer and more interesting. Have you ever seen the （2） professional women around you？ In fact， they are not necessarily very beautiful， but from their sweet smiles， you can feel the power of self-confidence that moves and touches us. It is confidence that makes their faces glow with charm （魅力）。

　　Then， confidence makes us brave and courageous. Have you ever thought about what is the most difficult thing to conquer （征服）？ A bound [boundless]（3 ） ocean？ A vast expanse of desert， or a high and steep mountain？ My answer is “No！” In fact， the most difficult thing to conquer is just yourself. Perhaps you will ask： “Myself？ But why？” Think it over， and you will easily find why. If we lack of [lack]（4）confidence in ourselves， how can we overcome difficulties we meet with？ If we lack of （5 ） confidence in ourselves， how can we succeed in developing ourselves in the future？ And if we lack of （6） confidence in ourselves， how can we do our bit for the construction of our motherland？ Without confidence， nothing can be accomplished. That is to say， if you want to win， you have to believe in yourself.

　　Those who are full of misgivings （疑虑）， often abase （降低自己身份） themselves. They can't do things well. Some people say： “I believe I am a person of great ability， never shall I do such small things. ” Evidently （显然） ， they are arrogant（自傲的）。 These people are worth [deserve]（7） to fail in life. So beconfident， but not too proud.

　　Finally， I would like to use the following words as our mutual（相互的）encouragement：“If you think you can，you can.”

　　上海市向明中学高一（2）班 成卓

　　评 语

　　文章主题积极鲜明，思路清晰，文中用到的一连串排比句式的反问句增强了论据的气势。语言运用也较好，词汇、句型显示出作者一定的英语基础，如： It is confidence that makes …，a vast expanse of desert， accomplished， full of misgivings，mutual encouragement等等。

　　文中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）从模仿谚语的角度出发，这个particularly可以不要。其实，这个词也没什么特别的意思。

　　（2）the应去掉，这里无须特指。

　　（3）可能是boundless的笔误。

　　（4）、（5）、（6）根据上下文，显然这里lack应是动词，lack可作及物动词。lack作不及物动词用时，后面也不接介词of，而一般用for或 in（此时lack常以be lacking形式出现，lacking也可理解为形容词），如：

　　As he is very rich， he lacks for nothing.

　　He is not lacking in physical courage.

　　而lack作名词时，后面常用介词 of，如： The plants died for lack of water. 显然，作者这里误用了名词lack.

　　（7）误用worth，故改之。