A Good End Promises a New Beginning

“Am I dreaming？” I asked myself when I received my score report for college entrance examination——it clearly read “503”。 I got mad with joy because I knew the further meaning of the mark 503 [what this score 503 meant to me] （1）——I had made it！ It was a good end to my study in Datong High School and for me it was also a new beginning for further study at college.

　　My high school life consisted of previewing and reviewing lessons and doing exercises， hardly with any entertainment（娱乐） of course. Sitting at desk took up most of my spare time. At that time， I was told that it was my responsibility to study hard. But I believe that studying hard was just doing me [myself] （2） a favor to realize my dream. I have long been dreaming of becoming an outstanding young man. In order to realize it， I tell myself to watch my step whenever something unfavorable comes into existence. Now I have fulfilled my task in high school with satisfaction. That's why I call it a good end. But it's not a real end. It's a new beginning. When the admission notice （录取通知） came from Fudan University a few days ago， I knew it was another challenge. Many excellent students will enter Fudan and nearly all of them will be my [ possible] （ 3 ） rivals （竞争对手）。No one can say that he is always predominant（绝对的）。Thewinners will be those who study hardest.

　　Just as one of my closest friends said to me， “Let bygones be bygones（过去的事就让它过去吧）”。I will never plunge into the successes made in the past [indulge in my past successes] （4） but I will try to create my personal future by hook or by crook （5）。Let the day be a milestone in my life. I will always remember the meaning of the words “end”and “beginning”！

　　大同中学高三（5）班 徐天

　　评 语

　　文章反映了一个高中毕业生在结束高考，即将开始大学生活时的激动心情，表达了这样一个主题：过去的成绩只代表过去，要用新的成绩去创造更为辉煌的明天。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）原文有中国式英语之嫌，故改之。

　　（2）studying hard是自己的动作，宾语宜用反身代词。

　　（3）加上possible，使rivals的语气缓和一些。

　　（4）原句有中国式英语之嫌，故改之。

　　（5）by hook or by crook虽有“千方百计”的含义，但在很多场合下，可表示“不择手段”。根据上下文，用在此是否恰当值得考虑。可改为 with all my efforts.