A Beautiful Rose

I planted a rose in front of my house in November last year [last November]（1）。 I was eager to see it bloom（开花）so I watered it almost every day. The rose grew quickly.

　　Spring has come. The rose plant is much taller than it used to be[has grown much taller]（2）。 Many green leaves have come up[out]（3）together with some buds（蓓蕾）。 One Sunday morning while I was watering the plant， I was surprised to see a red rose blooming. It seemed as if it were a beautiful shy girl selflessly giving out fragrance（芳香）， with which I was intoxicated（陶醉）。“Oh， that's great！”I cried out to my sister. “Come to see what is happening.”She ran up to me.“How nice it is！”she said，“I can hardly believe my eyes！”

　　In the afternoon when I returned home after visiting a friend， I went to see the rose again. To my astonishment（吃惊）， the beautiful flower was not there. Tears came to my eyes. “It must have been a naughty boy who had picked it，”[“A naughty boy must have picked it，”]（4）I said to my sister.“It was I who picked the flower，”she replied in a low voice. I could hardly believe my ears.“Isn't anything worth doing than to pick the rose？[”Isn't there anything else better worth doing than picking the rose for fun？“I shouted at her.]（5）”But， but…“she choked（哽咽）with sob.

　　I left my sister and went upstairs angrily. Through a window， I caught sight of a blind girl near my house holding the[a]（6）red rose and smelling it with a smile. I suddenly realized what had happened.

　　I rushed downstairs. Holding my sister's hands， I said， “I'm sorry. I have misunderstood[wronged]（7）you.”“Never mind，”she said，“blind people also need beauty and love. We should do what we can to help them.”With the words， we went to the blind girl together.

　　青浦县朱家角中学 陆英

　　评 语

　　全文句子结构变化较多，用词也较客观准确，对玫瑰花及种花人爱花的心情描写得尤为出色。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）去年11月（而今年11月还没有到）一般可说成last Norember.

　　（2）used to表示过去习惯，暗示现在已不再如此。在此用得不恰当。

　　（3）花芽、花蕾等长出来用come out，不用come up.

　　（4）改后的句子较简洁。如要保留原来的“It+be+that”的强凋式结构，had picked应改成picked.句中must have been是表示“对过去的肯定推测”，实质是过去式，所以had picked不妥。

　　（5）原句是中国式英语，句子结构也不清楚，故改之。

　　（6）如用the，成了作者看到盲孩时已经知道她手里拿的就是自己那朵玫瑰花，这显然与实际不符。作者只可能先看到盲孩手里拿着一朵玫瑰花，然后才意识到那是自己的那朵。

　　（7）misunderstand是指“误会”，用在这里与上下文不符，wrong作动词表示“冤枉”。