Miss Besley,My English Teacher

My English teacher， Miss Besley， is from Australia. She is about 50 years old. She is tall and thin with short hair. She has got blue eyes， a small mouth and a small nose. She is very kind to us.

　　Now do you want to know about her lessons？ Let me tell you about them. She taught us English for one year. We all enjoyed her lessons very much. She not only taught us useful expressions but also told us many interesting things about Australia. We learned many Australian songs from her. We played games with her. She would give us presents when we did well in class. Then she would always say with a smile：“Congratulation [Congratulations] （1） to you！

　　Once I wasn't sure how to answer one of the questions [her questions in class] （2）。 My heart was beating hard. I answered it in a low voice. Almost nobody could hear me. Miss Besley said to me encouragingly （鼓励地），“Look， your classmates are all your brothers and sisters. Don't be afraid. I'm your friend. I'm sure you can do it well.”Then I repeated my sentence with [in] （3） a louder voice. After that， I wasn't shy any more. Thank you， Miss Besley， I'd like to say.“It's you [that] （4） have given me great encouragement.”

　　Now Miss Besley is back to Australia. I'll remember her forever. I hope she will come back to our school again.

　　上海市第六十二中学初一（7）班 王慧佳

　　评 语

　　文章对老师的描述简洁生动。虽多为简单句，但读来流畅自然。可见，只要组织得好，并不需要复杂的句型和big words也能把文章写得动人。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）Congratulation表祝贺时，一般用复数，顺便提一下，congratulate作动词时，句型一般为congratulate sb. on sth.，如：congratulate him on having passed the examinations.

　　（2）questions前加了the，应该是有所指的，而原文中却没有表明，故改之。

　　（3）voice前的介词一般用in.

　　（4）原句为一强调结构，虽在非正式英语中也有省去that的，但对于初学者来说并不值得模仿。