My Lovely Cat

Once I got a cat from my uncle. The cat had black and white hair which looked beautiful. Every day at noon， the cat close its eyes[she would narrow her eyes]（1）into a line， appearing listless（倦怠的）。

　　My cat was skillful at catching mice. When there were some mice， she would soon get vigilant（警惕的）。 Glaring at the mouse that she was going to catch， she stretched（展开）her body and put her forelegs low and straight， ready to attack. When the mouse moved， she made a sudden spring（弹跳）at the mouse and caught it. Then she would have a tasty meal.

　　My cat not only could[could not only]（2）catch mice， but also could[but also]（2）play with a person. Once， I was tired at a tease[was getting tired by a knotty problem（难题）]（3）when the cat came. She jumped onto my lap and skipped from one of my knees to the other. Then she jumped back down to the ground and began to play with her own tail， running in a circle. How amusing she was！

　　Another time I happened to place a mirror before the cat. At first， she looked at the mirror this way and that， surprised at the sight of another“cat”。 Then， she stretched[out]（4）her paw behind the mirror to find what was there. When the cat found nothing there； she became angry and began to attack the other “cat”。 How funny she was！

　　My cat was so lovely that I liked her very much. But one day she was poisoned to death by[died of poisoning after she had]（5）a rat which had just eaten poison. How sad I was then！ I lost one of my best friends. Since then， whenever I have seen other people's cats， I can't help remembering my lovely cat. [Since then， the mere sight of any cat has always reminded me of my lovely cat.]（6）

　　山东省晋城市第一中学 丁林鹏

　　评 语

　　本文对猫的动态描写较为出色，特别是紧扣题目，在文章细节选择上重点突出猫的lovely（可爱之处）。词汇的运用丰富生动。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）close有“关闭”的意思，改为narrow较好。加上would表示过去习惯。另外，将it改成拟人化的she更说明与主人的亲密关系。

　　（2）严格地讲，连接性词组“not only…but also”在此连接的是catch mice和play with a person这两个部分，而不是could catch mice和could play with a person.

　　（3）前半句用进行时态表示背景。实际上“…was/weredoing…when…did（一般过去时）…”是一个常用句型，表示在“……背景下发生了……事”。tease表示“难题”是俚语，不宜模仿，故改之。

　　（4）stretch的宾语应是本身确实可以收缩伸长的东西。如stretch one's arm/leg/body等，但paw不能，故加上out表示“伸出”。

　　（5）原句有老鼠故意主动杀死猫的意思，故改之。

　　（6）句中用了since then，句中的谓语部分（不包括从句的谓语部分）应该用完成时态，修改后的句子用一个名词词组（the mere sight of any cat）代替了一个由whenever引出的时间状语从句，显得更为简洁。