怎样使句子简练利落
不是所有的长句都是罗唆的,也不是凡是短的句子都是洗练的。我们要尽量运用简练的句子;我们也要尽量把没有增添语意的词语去掉,并且将冗长句子节缩,使之简练利落。我们可以从四方面着手:
一、消除多余的词语
每句话里的词藻或用语,如果对语意起不了作用就不要铺张,要给以铲除,因此(1)a-(7)a都嫌唠叨,要由 (1)b-(7)b 来取代:
(1) a. At this point of time → b. Now
(2) a. Bring all this to a conclusion. → b. Concluding this.
(3) a. Has a tendency to drop →b. Can drop easily.
(4) a. On account of the fact that…… → b. As……/Since……
(5) a. Situated in the vicinity of…… → b. near……
(6) a. June was determined in her mind to ……→ b. June was determined to ./June decided to ……
(7) a. Here comes David, a person whom I idolize and for whom I have the greatest admiration. →b. Here comes David, a person I idolize./Here comes my idol, David.
二、避免不必要的重复
重复重要的字眼是种修辞手段,但是不必要或无目的的重复,却使句子累赘不自然,因此(8)a-(12)a要改为(8)b-(12)b:
(8) a. Close proximity →b. Proximity
(9) a. Cooperate together →b. Cooperate/work together
(10)a. Most unique →b. unique
(11)a. The patient in Ward 2 is a mentally ill man. →b. The patient in Ward 2 is mentally ill.
(12)a. A good teacher helps each student to become a better student, both academically and mentally. →b. A good teacher helps each student to grow. /develop academically and mentally
三、简化句子结构
句子结构务必明确易解,如果出现不必要的迂回状况,便要纠正加以简化,而且尽量采用恰当的动词,臻达这目的;因此(13)a-(14)a要改为(13)b-(14)b:
(13) a. Rarely should a doctor give a patient an estimate of how many months or years he or she will live. →b. Rarely should a doctor estimate/predict how long a patient will live.
(14) a. The manager is responsible for monitoring and balancing the annual budget for all expenses. →b. The manager monitors and balances the annual budget.
四、将从句节缩为短语、短语简化为单词
英语从句和短语,特别是修饰性质者,可以简而略之,但语意不变,如(15)a和(16)a都可节缩为(15)b和(16)b:
(15)a. The oral approach, which is a method of language teaching, is effective for teaching oral communication. →b. The oral approach, a method of language teaching, is effective for teaching oral communication.
(16)a. Janet's jacket, made of cotton, is too warm for hot weather here. →b. Janet's cotton jacket, is too warm for hot weather.
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