我从四岁孩子那里学到的事

我们总觉得孩子都是不懂事的，孩子都是调皮的，都应该听大人的。事实上，我们也可以从孩子身上学到一些事情。下面就和沪江小编一起来看看我们能从四岁的孩子身上学习到什么吧。

　　When my son was born, I imagined how I would teach him about life. Little did I know that he would be the teacher. He taught me:
　　从我儿子呱呱坠地那时起，我就想象着自己应该怎样教给他生活的道理。我从没想过他竟然也可以成为我的老师，他教会我十件事情：

　　1. To use positive words
　　One evening at the dinner table my son said, “Dad this food is disgusting.” I thought - where did that word come from? Another time while I was explaining the rules to a game he said, “Now that's just ridiculous.” A minute later he said, “this is stupid, I give up.” At that moment it dawned on me… He's getting this stuff from me. From now on I better choose my words carefully.
　　一、使用积极的措词。
　　有一天吃晚饭的时候，我儿子跟我说："爸爸，今天的饭菜真讨厌。"我一直在想他究竟从哪里学会"讨厌"这个词。又有一次，我向他解释一个游戏规则，他对我说"这个规则太荒谬了".过了一分钟他又说："这个游戏实在太愚蠢了，我不想玩了。"就在那时，我才开始意识到：原来他的这些词都是从我那学的。从此以后，我就开始慎重地选择用词。

　　2. To look for opportunity everywhere
　　My son views the entire world and every new person, new object, or new event as an opportunity to learn something. When a new person walks in the room he wants to know who they are and if they would like to play. If I drop a new object into a cluttered room, he will spot it, touch it, pick it up, ask questions about it. Nothing new goes unnoticed.
　　二、到处寻找机会。
　　我儿子把整个世界，每个新认识的人或新接触的东西都当成一次学习的机会。当一个他不认识的人走进房间时，他总是想知道这个人是谁，愿不愿意跟他一起玩。如果我在他的小房间扔一个新东西给他，他总是把这个东西反反复复地揣摩，想弄清楚这个东西可以用来做什么。新的东西总是逃不过他的眼睛。

　　3. A new synonym for persistence
　　Santa Claus brought my son a white board and a set of dry erase makers for Christmas （can you tell I'm in IT）. My son learned to write very early. He spent months obsessed with writing letters on the white board. One day I looked at the board while he was writing and I saw this combination of capital letters - SHHANDSHOWBO. He also knows how to sound out words, so I asked him what it was. He said, “It's a word I made up - Sha-hand-show-bo.” I asked, “What does it mean?” He said, “To keep trying even when it's hard.” Now when I get frustrated I think - Sha-hand-show-bo.
　　三、一个表示坚持的新名词。
　　圣诞老人送给我们儿子一块白板和一套橡皮擦作为圣诞礼物。我儿子很早就学会拼写了，有好几个月他每天都趴在白板上写字母。有一天他正在白板上涂涂写写的时候，我凑过去一瞧，发现他在白板上写了一列大写字母：SHAHANDSHOWBO，而且他还知道怎么读出这个"词".于是我问他这个词是什么意思，我儿子很"认真"地回答说，"当事情很难时，你还是能坚持努力。"现在，每当我感到沮丧时，我总会想起这个词"sha-hand-show- bo".

　　4. To ask big questions
　　A few weeks ago our cat was dying. So I explained death to my son and told him our cat was going to heaven. I was amazed that he grasped the permanence of death. Like the other members of my family he was very sad for several days. Then he asked, “Dad, how do you get to heaven?” I said,“Well everyone goes there when they die.” He said, “No I mean, how do you get there? Do go out the door and get in the car? Do you take a rocket?” I had to admit to him that I didn't know how you get to heaven, I just believe in it. A few days latter he asked, “If God made me, who made God?” Good question. I haven't thought about that one in years.
　　四、问大问题。
　　几个星期前，我家的猫快死了，于是我向儿子解释什么是死亡，并告诉他说我们的猫猫快要去天堂了。我非常惊讶地发现他竟然很快就能感知死亡是怎么一回事，和家里其他成员一样，他为此伤心了好几天。后来他问我："爸爸，你怎样才能去天堂？"我说："当人们死的时候，他们就去了天堂。"我儿子说："我不是说这个，我是说你怎样才能到达那里？你是走过去还是搭车去，或者你是搭火箭去？"我听了忍俊不禁，我不得不向他承认我确实并不知道怎样才能去天堂，我只是相信有天堂这回事。又过了一些天，他又问 "如果上帝创造了我，那谁创造了上帝呢？"这确实是个好问题，多少年我不曾想到这个问题。

　　5. To accept mistakes
　　Watching my son grow and learn, it became clear that all learning is based on trying something new, making a mistake, adjusting your actions, trying again, repeating until you get the results you desire. That is how he learned to walk, speak, read, write, build lego walls, set up train tracks, jump, run, and pedal. I can't think of one thing he did right the first time. It is a good thing he has an abundance of sha-hand-show-bo.
　　五、接受犯错的事实。
　　看着儿子不断地学习和成长，我深刻体会到所有的学习都基于不断地尝试新事物，犯错，修正行为，继续尝试，重复直至获得理想的结果。我儿子就是通过这样学习走路，讲话，读书，写字，筑墙（垒高拼装玩具），拼接火车轨道（玩具），跳跃，奔跑以及骑单车。我想不到有任何一件事情他第一次就可以做对，但他有足够的sha-hand-show- bo，这的确是一件好事。

　　6. To pay attention to little details
　　When my son was 2, he was pointing in a box and saying, “ate, ate, ate, ate.” I said no you don't want to eat the box. He said, “no, ate, ate, ate.” I looked in the box and it was empty. I looked at him puzzled. He stuck his face in the box and said, “ate, ate.” I looked again closely. On the bottom of the box, in the corner, printed in a small font was the number 8. He sees things I don't see, because he pays attention to little things everywhere, like the tiny red dot on the white sheetrock wall he called an “owie.”
　　六、注重细节。
　　在我儿子两岁的时候，他指着一个盒子说："ate，ate，ate."（译者注：跟英语8以及吃的过去式发音一样），我跟他说盒子里并没有他想吃的东西，但他仍旧说："不， ate，ate，ate."我又看了看盒子，里面确实空无一物啊，我非常疑惑地看着他，他将头探入盒子并继续说着："ate，ate，ate".于是我再次仔细地检查这个盒子，终于发现原来在这个盒子底部边角的地方印着一个小字号的"8"字。他能看到我没有看到的东西，因为他对周围的事物都能投以关注的目光。例如他能留意到小石膏灰胶夹板上的小红点并把这些小红点叫做"owie".

　　7. To stop complaining
　　Recently my son went through a phase where he complained about everything. His food was too hot, playtime was too short, he didn't want to go to pre-school, everything was “too hard.” This experience forced me to think and come up with a plan to help my son through this phase. I developed some techniques to help him stop complaining. His phase taught me how irritating it is to listen to complaints without solutions. His complaining taught me to listen to myself when I start to gripe and realize complaining isn't going to get me the results I desire. It is one thing to identify something uncomfortable or painful you wish to change, and another to sit and complain about it and do nothing. Solutions provide value - gripes sap energy. Besides, how can I expect my son to stop complaining, if I complain - see #8.
　　七、停止抱怨。
　　近段时间，我儿子经历了一个抱怨不断的时期。在这个时期里，他抱怨食物太烫了，玩耍的时间太少了，他不想去上学前班，每件事情都觉得很难。他的这种情况逼使我不得不绞尽脑汁，想出法子帮他度过这个喜欢抱怨的时期。他的这个时期让我体会到当听到不寻求解决方法的抱怨时有多么恼人，他的抱怨也让我懂得当自己不停发牢骚时应该静下来倾听自己的心声，抱怨并不能帮助解决任何问题。此外，确定你希望改变的让你不舒服或痛苦的东西是一回事，而坐下来空抱怨却是另一回事。行动提供价值，抱怨则浪费精力。同时，如果我自己都在抱怨我又怎能期望我儿子停止抱怨呢？

　　8. To strive for consistency
　　If I am inconsistent with my expectations and actions my son won't understand what I expect. For example, if I tell him I won't allow him to jump on the furniture and then let him do it occasionally; he becomes confused and jumps on the furniture trying to understand his limits. The consequences for jumping on the couch are random and he never understands my expectations. If I let his little brother jump on the couch, rest assured, he will say “you let him jump on the couch. Why can't I jump on the couch?” and I won't have a meaningful answer. Since I have seen inconsistency lead to chaos with my 4-year-old, I now believe it will lead to chaos in every area of my life.
　　八、保持言行一致。
　　如果我对儿子的期望跟我后来的言行不一致，我儿子就会弄不清楚我究竟期望他怎样做。举个例子，我曾经告诉他我不允许他在家具上跳，然而我后来又偶尔让他在家具上跳一跳。于是他渐渐变得困惑，有时候他想知道自己到底能跳多高他就会在家具上跳起来，而且他从不知道我对他有怎样的期望。如果我又让他的小哥哥在沙发上跳，他就会问："你让哥哥在沙发上跳，我为什么不可以？"而这时候我通常找不到一个有说服力的理由来回答他。自从我了解到自己的前后不一致给4 岁儿子带来的困惑，我也开始相信这种不一致也会给我生活的其他领域带来混乱。

　　9. How to build a maze with random items in the garage
　　九、怎样用车库中任意的物品建造一个迷宫。

　　10. To experiment
　　My son learns everything by experimenting. He learn the rules of the house by experimenting. He must ask questions in his mind at some level - like what will happen if I flick this spoonful of mash potatoes at my little brother? or how will mom react if I eat this bug? Now I'm not recommending that you or anyone else start flicking food at each other or start eating insects just to find out what happens. What I am suggesting is that my son illustrates how we learn. We learn by experimenting. Never stop experimenting.
　　十、试验精神。
　　我儿子通过尝试学会任何事情，他通过不断试验学会了家里的规则。在某种程度上他必须在做某件事情之前先在脑海中问自己一些问题。例如：如果我把这一汤匙马铃薯糊泼到哥哥身上会发生什么情况？或者如果我吃了这个臭虫妈妈会有什么反应？我并不是提倡大家通过将食物泼到别人身上或者通过吃臭虫来知道事情的后果。我想建议的就是我儿子就是一个例子说明我们都是怎样学习的，我们必须通过不断尝试来学习，千万不要放弃尝试（放弃尝试就等于放弃学习）。