My Foreign Cousin

I have two foreign cousins， both of whom live with my aunt far far away in Britain. I had never seen them before one of them came to my home last March.

　　It was a sunny day. I went home happily. When I opened the door， I was so surprised to see a foreign little [little foreign] （1） boy of about two standing in front of me. And as he saw me， his big blue eyes opened widely.

　　“Oh， who are you？”I said in English. Soon I knew that he was one of my cousins， Timmy. I introduced myself with simple words. Timmy smiled and nodded to me. Soon we were [got] （2） familiar with each other.

　　Timmy was a handsome by. He had grey hair. He was only three years old. And so he spoke baby English.

　　Timmy liked watching TV. Sometimes I joined him. Most of the cartoons we saw were“Snow White”and“Peter Pan”。 He liked them very much. So did I. He always asked me to tell him some stories， such as“Snow White”。 I thought it must be the story he liked best. I told him the story over and over again. But each time I began like this，“Once upon a time…”， Timmy would look at me with great care.

　　Sometimes Timmy was a naughty boy. For example， at supper time or dinner time， he always made the rice fall to the ground and played with spoons or forks. At that moment， his mother would warn him not to do so. Timmy liked to eat ice cream. So when he was unwilling to eat rice， we would tell him that he must finish rice first， or he wouldn't get any more ice cream. Then we would see him eating rice rapidly. What a lovely baby！

　　When it was time for bed， the thing that I must do was to kiss Timmy good-night. Once， I forgot to say“good night”to him. As I went to bed， I saw him come in.“Good night， Jiajia，”he said.“We forgot to say'good night’， didn't we？”“Oh， good night， Timmy. See you tomorrow.”He kissed me and then went out. At that time， I realized how he loved me andwhat good manners he had！

　　On March 29th， Timmy would go to Britain， where his home is. At the airport， I couldn't keep back my tears and cried. As I watched the plane flying higher and higher above the city， how sad I was！

　　“Cheer up， Jiajia，”my father said to me.“In a few years， Timmy will come to Shanghai again. And at that time， you'll see a clever young man.”

　　上海市向明中学初二 马怡佳

　　评 语

　　文章对Timmy的外貌、爱好、举止等方面作了生动的描述，同时突出了Timmy天真、调皮、爱学习、懂礼貌等特点。初二学生能写出这样语句通顺，语言运用较为熟练的作文，实属不易，文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）根据形容词在名词前的次序，一般表示年龄大小的形容词应在表示国籍的形容词前，如a little Chinese girl.

　　（2）改为got，动态更强一些。