Thank You, Sir

Never can I forget the night you brought me to your home to help me make up the lessons I had missed. You said I was just on my feet [had just recovered from illness] （1） and bought me a big piece of watermelon （西瓜）。 You were so patient and careful during the lessons that I understood you quite well. I soon caught up with other students.

　　Remember， sir？ I was [ once] （ 2 ） in an awkward predicament （尴尬处境） but [and] （3） couldn't free myself from it. It was you， my beloved teacher， who came to me and had a heartto-heart talk with me. What you said was so reasonable and moving that I was convinced （被说服）。 I was myself again —— merry and smiling. You said you wished I would always be a little angel. Thank you， sir！

　　Remember， sir？ That time I took the lead in English contest. It was you who were the first one to come and say， filled with excitement and happiness， “Excellent， Xiao Ying！ Congratulations！ ”

　　Remember， sir？ Once I failed in an exam. I was so sad that I lay on the meadow [ grass ] （ 4 ） with my face downward ， crying. You softly wiped away my tears， like Father to me， saying，“Be more careful next time， and you are sure to succeed.I looked up and found a look of expectancy and trust. I cheered [cheered up] （5） again.

　　Remember， sir？ … I'll always remember what you have done for me. I don't know what would have happened without you. Thank you， sir！

　　It's Teachers' Day again. I wish you， my dear teacher and friend， everything great and wonderful， not only on this day， but during all your life. I wish you would always be as happy， healthy， and wonderful as you have been so far.

　　Thank you， sir！

　　海南师范附中高三 刘小英

　　评 语

　　本文为庆祝教师节所作，作者结合自己的亲身经历，以火一样的感情，诗一般的语言赞美了她的老师。文章以两个“Thank you，sir”开头与结尾，并以四个“Remember，sir？”作为主干，似乎在与老师面对面地倾吐自己的心声。全文情真意切，且用词准确，实为一篇佳作。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）原文on one's feet可表示“病后恢复健康”，但这个短语还有很多其他意思，且表示“恢复健康”时是一种比喻用法。这里还是直接说明较好。

　　（2）加上once，使行文更通顺。

　　（3）原文前后无转折含义，不宜用but.改为and，使语势更进一步。

　　（4）meadow一般是指用作牧场的草地，其实这里用grass 即可。

　　（5）根据Longman词典，cheer作不及物动词用时意为：shout in praise，approval，or support，注意不要与cheer up混淆，cheer up 意为become happier，这里宜改用cheer up.