Pudong Has Changed

It was a Sunday morning. I went to attend the opening ceremony of English Salon （英语沙龙） in Pudong District （上海浦东新区）。 I had been informed about the development in the new area before. So I wanted to enjoy the scenery of it on the way. But to my disappointment， it happened to be heavily foggy that day. Pudong was just like a charming and shy girl who hid herself from view so as not to let people see her real beauty.

　　The ceremony was a great success. Hardly had I entered the meeting room when I was enveloped in an extraordinarily （特别地） warm atmosphere. Many English learners from different middle schools in Pudong and some foreign teachers gathered there. As it was the first English corner in the new area， everyone seemed to be much excited. After introducing each other， we chatted a lot， especially about Pudong. A girl of my age told me that her family had settled down in Pudong years before. She found it much more beautiful now. Two long tunnels （隧道） and two huge bridges connect [connecting] （1） the two parts of Shanghai had [have] （2） been built and the traffic has become more convenient （方便）。 So many department stores， shopping centers and supermarkets have been set up that people can get a wider choice of goods they need. At last she added with a smile：“In our home we enjoy modern comforts such as gas， telephone. People used to say——we would rather have a bed in Puxi（浦西） than own a room in Pudong. But now things have completely changed. I love Pudong more”。 The more she said， the more excited she became. What she said was full of deep confidence and pride in the new area.

　　It was already midday when the ceremony ended. The fog had disappeared and the sun was brightly shining. On my way home， I contemplated（凝视）the magnificent scenery， recalling the girl's praise of Pudong. She was right， I thought.

　　上海市市三女中 胡畏

　　评 语

　　文章从一个侧面描写改革开放后的上海浦东，文笔较为老练，语句运用得较好。如：to my disappointment， it happened to be…，a wider choice of goods， would rather…than…等等。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）这里connect应该用现在分词，做定语。

　　（2）根据上下文看，还是用现在完成时为好。作者可能想表示在她去浦东前“已经造好”或想表示这是间接引语。其实，在上下文明了，特别是在强调所述情况现在依然如此时用现在完成时反而自然。