A Night of Late Autumn

That night of late autumn was cool， I think. So （1） I went out with a agitating （令人烦躁） heart [an agitated heart] （2） and walked on the path.

　　It was misty （薄雾笼罩的） on the autumn night. Everything before me became hazy （模糊的）。 The hazy lights from the windows of the distant buildings looked like the eyes of sleepy men. The hazy pavilions （亭阁） lay there as if they were floating in the air. The hazy trees and grass made me feel that I was in a fairyland （仙境）。 The hazy autumn night was very beautiful.

　　Everything was hazy， except the moon hanging in the sky. She is a kind mother， I thought， gives the [giving] （3） bright light to the earth， and the child of the earth feels gently comfortable. The moon light was so bright that it turned everything silver， which made me feel that I was floating in the air.

　　Suddenly， a wild cat ran across the grassland by the roadside. It stopped to turn round to look at me. It's [Its] （4） body dissolved （消融） in the darkness， but its green eyes stared at me all the time. As I came nearer， it ran away quickly and disappeared into the darkness.

　　A couple （一对男女） by the roadside were whispering. On this quiet night， they were enjoying their romantic love. At that time， a piece of cloud came to cover the moon as if to give the young people a peaceful veil （面纱）。

　　It was now deep into the night. On my way home， I found the street lamps pulling my shadow long. In the distance， there were faint sounds of singing.

　　On this night of autumn， I no longer felt agitated， and made my way home with a quiet mind. （5）

　　江苏省无锡市第二中学 张伊帆

　　评 语

　　这是一篇抒情式的描述文，写得很有感染力。作者紧紧抓住深秋之夜的薄雾朦胧的特征，写天写地写周围的景。最为出色的一笔是在描写寂静之中突然出现的那只野猫，这一笔使整个静态的画面顿时活了起来。此外，作者在描述秋夜的同时，还不时地夹进一些恰到好处的议论，为文章增色不少。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）、（2）第一句作者似乎想说秋夜令人凉爽，但第二句又用agitate，使人感到不协调。因此，第二句开头的so应该去掉。另外，agitating也用错了。“感到烦躁”应该用agitated，而agitating是“令人烦躁”的意思，如：agitating situation.还有不定冠词在元音音素前应该用an.

　　（3）give bright light这一动作是说明The moon is a kind mother的，不应该与前句并列成谓语，改用非谓语动词较好。另外，定冠词the也是多余的。

　　（4）It's笔误，应为its.

　　（5）结尾稍作改动，以便与开头相呼应。