Winter——Swimming

If you have been to Harbin in winter， but didn't have a chance to see people do winter-swimming， you are sure， I think， to have a pity [I am sure you will feel it's a pity] （1）。 Can you imagine swimming in a river with the temperature being about -10 degrees centigrade？ This would be incredible （难以置信的） to the people from the South. Were you on the Songhua River， you could not help admiring those brave swimmers.

　　I felt greatly excited as well as surprised when I first saw the winter-swimming. Though it was extremely cold that day， the swimmers were only wearing swimming costumes （游泳衣）， which contrasted sharply with the onlookers who had on thick clothes only with two eyes outside [the sight of the onlookers having heavy clothes covering all their bodies with only two eyes visible] （2）。 I thought that the river was warm， but it felt much colder when I dipped my hand into the river water. What excited me most was the way they dived into the river from the high ice-platform （冰的跳台） and the styles in which they swam， such as breaststroke， butterfly-stroke， and backstroke.

　　My uncle has been an enthusiast （积极参与者） for winterswimming for several years. Now he is a member of the Winter Swimming Enthusiasts' Club. Once I asked him，“Aren't you afraid of cold？ Have you got a cold from it？”Smiling， he said， “So long as we have a strong will， we can surely overcome any fears and difficulties. I haven't got a cold at all. On the contrary， I have become healthier than I used to.”That's true， he used to suffer from bronchitis （支气管炎）。 However， since he began to like winter-swimming， he has been fully recovered from the disease.

　　Today， more and more people are actively joining in the winter-swimming， including women and children. This activity shows the great courage and strong will of the people in Harbin， which I think is just what we need in our work and study as well.

　　黑龙江省哈尔滨市第六中学高一（6）班 万利

　　评 语

　　文章生动地介绍了哈尔滨的冬泳情况，特别是对参观者浑身裹得严严实实，而冬泳者却不畏严寒的强烈反差的描写，给读者以深刻印象。全文用词、句子结构变化也较多。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）原句结构较散，故改之。

　　（2）原句中which是指前面整个句子表达的景象，即游泳者着泳装，与之形成对比的对象不能是the onlookers而必须是另一个景象，即旁观者穿着厚厚的冬装。