Try to Make Teachers Smile

Someone says that he wishes to see his teachers smile， and doesn't want to see the cold， even freezing faces of teachers.This is a good will. But teachers seldom smile， especially in class. Do you know why？

　　Teachers are in fact very kind persons. They teach us every day from morning to evening. Their work is very laborious and hard （1）。 So （2 ） we can learn lots of knowledge from them. But some students don't do their best in their studies. They don't like any subjects such as [whether] （3） history， geography， English or maths. As a result， teachers feel sad and don't often smile.

　　The others [Some other students] （4）perhaps don't listen to the teachers carefully in class. Sometimes they are talking， making faces， looking outside and doing some other things not related to study in class. They don't work hard， and often make teachers get （5） angry. Can teachers smile in these cases？ Of coursenot .

　　In my opinion， if you want to make teachers smile， you must do the following things. The first and most important thing is that you must put your heart and mind in your study. It also means that you should listen to the teachers carefully in class. Try your best to grasp what teachers teach [say] （6） . After class， you must go over what you have learned， and finish your homework in time. If you have any difficulty， you should ask your classmates or teachers until you understand it completely. I think if you do so， you can study very well. And of course， the teachers will then often smile.

　　Do you think so？ Try to do that often， please！

　　江西省宁冈中学 钟鸣荟

　　评 语

　　这是一篇论点较有趣的议论文。从“让老师笑”着手呼吁学生应该努力学习，行文显得较为顺理成章。文中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）laborious 和 hard词义重复，可删去一个。其实要使行文有力，不如用行为动词： They work very hard.

　　（2）这里的so用得欠妥，上下文似乎并不一定有因果关系。

　　（3）not…any 已表示否定一切，用 whether…or呼应较好。

　　（4）the others表示剩下的所有其他学生，这里根据上下文，似乎批评面过大了，故改之。

　　（5） make的宾语补足语可用形容词表示，可省去 get.

　　（6）主语teachers，谓语又用同根动词teach，从修辞上来说不够好。可改为其他动词，如say.