Our Red Cap Team

Everyone in our class likes physical exercises. There is a football team in my class. We all call it “Red Cap”， because every Player of the team wears a small red cap. The “Red Cap”plays very well and won [has won] （1） a lot of prizes for our class and our grade too. We are all proud of the team.

　　Every afternoon， the “Red Cap”team goes out [go] （2） to the playground after class and play football. Some of them are members of the school team. They are working very hard for the team.

　　The players like famous sports stars very much and it is their dream to become one someday. Sometimes they collect photos of the （3） football stars and put them on the walls. They always try to find time to watch [on TV] （ 4 ） football matches held at home and abroad， because they can learn something from it [them] （5）。

　　Our “Red Cap” team often participate in （参加） matches at the grade and school levels. The “Red Cap” is always the champion in our grade. And the school team is the city's champion， too.

　　Although （6） football is a physical exercise mainly for boys， but （6） we girls also enjoy it very much. Whenever a football match is going on， we are always there to cheer our players up.

　　The players of the “Red Cap” team are not only good at football， but also study very hard. Some of them are the best students in our grade. For example， the team leader Liu Liang always takes the first place in exams.

　　I hope their dreams will come true in the near future： some of them become football stars， even China's Maradona， the best football player in the world， to win glories for our country.

　　山东省青岛十七中学高一（5）班 李婷婷

　　评 语

　　作者用充满自豪和感情的笔调介绍了他们班的一支足球队，特别是作者在介绍了足球队在比赛中的成绩时，不忘提一下足球队员对学习也十分认真，这就使得文章表现的主题更为全面。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）这里用现在完成时表示至今为止已取得了许多奖。

　　（2）这里的out似乎有些令人费解，或许作者想表示从教室中走出。另外，team作为集合名词，可表示单数，也可表示复数。但这里由于动词go的缘故，另外下文play，还有代词 some of them（= the team）都指示把 team 当作复数看待更好，可将 goes 改为 go.

　　（3）由于上文没有指明哪些 football stars，这里the还是去掉为好。

　　（4）后文有 abroad，如果不加上 on TV，读起来好像是出国去观看比赛。

　　（5）前文 football matches是复数，代词应该用 them.

　　（6）although…but的连用错误是受汉语干扰所致。在语法题中出这类错误很少，但在口语和作文中会不自觉地出错，需特别注意。