The Flower Tower in Wugang

There used to be two old towers in Wugang. One called East Tower stood by the Zijiang River， the other called Flower Tower stood on the top of the Yuntai Mountain.

　　However， people liked the Flower Tower best[better]（1）， because it was one of the few leaning towers in the world. In fact， it could compare with the leaning tower in Pisa. In May， 1966， it was measured 30.5 meters high and 6.22 degrees in gradient（倾斜度）[It measured 30.5 metres in height]（2）。

　　It is said that a brother built the East Tower and his sister built the Flower Tower. Because the Flower Tower was more beautiful than the East Tower， the brother became so jealous（嫉妒的）that he kicked the Flower Tower very hard（3）。 That's how the Flower Tower came to slant（倾斜）。But to his great surprise the Flower Tower became even more beautiful than before. Of course， it's only hearsay（传说）。 In fact， the Flower Tower was born over 750 years earlier than the East Tower.（4）

　　What's more， the building technique and the artistry（艺术技巧）of the Flower Tower were admired more by people. It had seven storeys and eight faces. The frescoes（壁画）on the tower were excellent. In the frescoes， there were flying birds， walking beasts， all kinds of buildings， fairies true to life and colourful flowers. They were all lively and beautiful. The whole tower was indeed as beautiful as a flower！

　　But now， the Flower Tower was gone， leaving the East Tower alone.[It was completely destroyed during the so-called “Great Cultural Revolution.”]（5）What a pity！[Don't you think it's a pity？]（6）

　　湖南省武冈二中高182班 陈滨芬

　　评 语

　　学了课文GALILEO AND ARISTOTLE后，本文作者能由其中的比萨斜塔联想到自己所在县的花塔，并能综合运用多种表现手法，融叙事、描写、说明、抒情于一体，有条不紊地描写出来，实为可嘉。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）因为文中只提到两座塔，此处宜把best改为better.

　　（2）measure一词既能作vt.，也能作vi.。作vt.时表“测量（某物或某人的大小、范围、容量、程度）”，如：Please measure me for a new coat. 作“有……长（宽、高）”或“尺寸是……”解时，多用作vi.，如：It measured about three metres high. 因此，习惯上要把此句中的was去掉，并且由于此句and后面是一句承前而省略了主谓语的并列结构，所以前句改为“It measured 30.5 metres in height.”

　　（3）此句没有语法错误，但若改为gave a hard kick at the Flower Tower更好些，因为这样更能淋漓尽致地表现出the brother的“嫉妒心”之强，给人一种“咬牙切齿地猛踢一脚”的味道。

　　（4）本段插上一个美丽的传说，给美丽的花塔蒙上一层神秘的面纱。“In fact，…”一句蓦地揭开面纱，告诉我们花塔的历史已很悠久了。

　　（5）此句没有说出花塔不复存在的原因，确为一缺憾，因此加上It was completely destroyed during the so-called “Great Cultural Revolution.”

　　（6）“What a pity！”仅表现了作者独自的惋惜，而若改为“Don't you think it's a pity？”则更显生动，并能引起读者的共鸣，对花塔的厄运深表痛惜。