My Fathers Bike

Vehicle has become more and more popular in the past few years. Many people have motorbikes. But， my father still rides his old bike. This afternoon， when I came back from school， I saw my father's bike against the wall. It is [was] （1） old and broken， but I remember it used to be very beautiful and take me to many places in my childhood. More than twelve years ago， when I was a child， my father usually took me to school with this bike. Now I noticed it was not as beautiful as before. I always think it would be better for rather to change a new one [change it for a new one] （2）。 However， he hasn't. I still remember that one day I had a high fever at midnight， and it was with thisbike that Father took me to the hospital at once.

　　Now I am a student of senior high school. I have my own bike. Surely， it looks much more beautiful than my father's. But I don't know why I'm always feeling that my father's bike much fairer than mine [my father's bike is much more beautiful than mine] （3）。

　　My father has done too [so] （4） much for me with it.

　　People say，“The mother's love is the greatest.”But I think Father's love is equally the greatest.

　　上海松江县第三中学高一（2）班 李欢颖

　　评 语

　　儿女赞扬自己父母亲的文章不少，但本文不是从正面平铺直叙，而是从描写父亲的自行车入手，颇有新意。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）原文时态有误。

　　（2）原文成了“换掉新车”了，故改之。

　　（3）原文that是从句引导词，但后面没了谓语动词。另外，fair也用得不妥。既然上文多次用到beautiful，为了呼应，强调，这里仍可使用。

　　（4）too有“过度”的含义，故改之。