What Good Advice

I had a very good time on October 12th. It was sunny. In the early morning， my father took me to the village of Xidi with three foreigners. They were all my father's new friends. They came from three different countries——America， England and Germany. The man from Germany was called Y. Maeyama， who worked in the University of Frankfurt in Germany and was very humorous. All of them were professors and doctors.

　　They visited Yixian upon invitation. It was the first time for them to come here. I was very lucky because I got many good chances to talk with them during the day. They were very kind and friendly to me. I valued very much my first chance of practising spoken English with foreigners. So I tried my best to talk with them in English as much as I could.

　　When I didn't understand what they said， they always wrote it down on a piece of paper. They told me if I wanted to speak English well， my face must be like the corner of the Great Wall. How interesting！ As we know， the corner of the Great Wall is very thick. I understand I should not be shy or afraid when I speak English. What good advice it is！ It is true that many of us are afraid to speak English， especially before many people， because they are afraid of making mistakes and of being laughed at. So they have missed many good chances to practise. For a language study （1）， practice is very important. An English proverb says： “Practice makes perfect.” If we want to improve our English， we should be brave enough to speak English wherever we are——in class or out of class. Dr. Y. Maeyama also encouraged me to work hard at English and to learn something about the English-speaking countries. He said this would give much help to my English study.

　　When we arrived[arrived at]（2）the village of Xidi， they [the three foreigners]（3）warmly invited me to have a photo taken with them. I was very happy.

　　It was getting dark before I realized[it] （4）。 I had to leave. I said good-bye to them. In the distance I could see them waving their hands to me.

　　Now， I think I've learnt a lot from them. I really want to say to them： Thank you very much. I will never forget the advice which you gave me and I will do as you said.（5）

　　安徽省黟县中学高二（4）班 汪 琴

　　评 语

　　文章夹叙夹议，重点记叙了外国朋友提出的学习建议，有一定的启发意义。另外，文章的行文也较流畅。但是，有一些显然属于粗心造成的错误，这说明我们在作文中必须认真仔细，养成写完文章通读检查的习惯。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下：

　　（1）study在泛指学习动作时，一般用作不可数名词。当它前面加不定冠词时，往往表示“对……进行一次探索研究”，如make a study of Shakespeare's plays.study作学科解，常常用作复数，如give time to one's studies，因此，原文还是去掉不定冠词a为好。

　　（2）“arrive at/in+目的地”，原文是不应该犯的错误。

　　（3）换了一段，they指代不清。

　　（4）realize表示“意识”时为及物动词，后面必须加上适当的宾语。

　　（5）这段似乎可以去掉，去掉后，反而使结尾更有回味之处。